Adelaide's First Crusty
by Kalta79
Summary: The title is a little misleading, because Reno and Marlene's daughter is a toddler and just learning how to talk, so can't quite pronounce most words right yet. #Christmas Fluff #sexual innuendo


A toddler was clumsily walking into the living room of her family's house, only stopping when she saw her father's long ponytail dangling over the back of his favorite recliner, red just like her own hair. Addy tilted her head and looked at it, then turned to look at the newly decorated tree with an open box of decorations still on the floor. She smiled and hurried towards the box as fast as her little chubby legs would carry her.

Marlene put the new batch of cookies in the oven that she was baking for the orphanage's Christmas party that night, and upon closing the oven door, realized her eighteen month old daughter wasn't in the kitchen anymore. "Addy?" Marlene called out as she looked for her, coming into the living upon a scene that made her burst out in laughter, waking up her husband from a much deserved nap after coming home from another extended mission.

"What the…what did you do to me?" Reno was loosely tied the chair with garlands that Addy had grabbed from the box. She had just run around his chair holding them until it looked like she wanted. That wasn't the end of her decorating either, she had found gift bows with the protective film over the sticky pads removed, so she had stuck them to his ponytail. Then she had found the tinsel and threw it over him. She was heading towards him with an ornament when Marlene had walked in on her.

"Mama!" Addy changed direction and let Marlene pick her up. "C…ch…cr…crusty!" the toddler tried her best to pronounce what she meant, pointing to Reno.

"Crusty? Who's she calling crusty? I've changed some of her diapers." Reno sourly remarked.

"What do you mean, Adelaide?" Marlene asked her precocious daughter.

"Crusty!" Addy pointed to the family tree, then again to Reno, repeating the word.

"Oh, you mean Christmas tree." Marlene smiled.

"She thinks I'm a Christmas tree? What have you been teaching our daughter while I'm away?" Reno asked as he started to free himself from the decorations and stood up.

"No!" Addy started squirming ferociously, so Marlene put her down and she ran to Reno, holding up the ornament and pulling on his pant leg. "Crusty?"

"No more decorating Daddy." Reno told her.

Addy's lips started quavering and her eyes watered. "Want Crusty!"

"Oh, just let her do it. We don't want to stifle her creativity." Marlene said to her husband.

Reno half-snorted over the constant comments Marlene would make about raising their daughter, as if his wife were flaunting her education and child psychology degrees. But he was also interested in letting Addy's abilities manifest themselves naturally, whatever they may be, and he couldn't stand the sound of his daughter crying. Plus she was also making his pant leg wet with her teary face. "Okay, but I get to decorate _you_ later." Reno told his wife, waiting for her agreement before picking up his emotional daughter. "Alright Addy, you can do it." His tone was less than gracious as Marlene brought the box of decorations over to the recliner.

"Crusty!" Addy gave her father a partially toothy grin and hung the ornament on one of his spikes.

Reno started to scowl but sat back down in his recliner so Addy could finish decorating him. She put a huge gob of tinsel on top of his head, and that made all his spikes go off to the sides of his head, and Addy eagerly hung more ornaments on them, putting a rubber ducky star ornament that Cloud and Tifa had given her for first Christmas in the middle of tinsel. With her mother's help, she also got an ornament hanging from her father's small gold hoop earring. After Marlene re-garlanded Reno to the chair, Addy was satisfied with her 'Crusty'.

"Now we have to commemorate this moment." Marlene hurried and grabbed the camera, then put Addy in Reno's lap. "Try and at least smile please, Reno."

Reno bared his teeth in a pathetic mockery of a smile while Addy giggled and clapped her hands as Marlene took pictures. "What's that?" He sniffed the air. "I smell smoke."

Marlene shrieked. "The cookies!" She ran back to the kitchen just as the smoke alarms went off.

Reno carried their daughter into the kitchen, watching as a horrified Marlene opened the oven to billowing smoke, pulling out a baking sheet full of blackened round blobs. "Food poisoning is quite a devastating weapon. Unlike a traditional weapon, they'll never see it coming." he told Addy as Marlene opened the kitchen door to let the smoke out.

"She's asleep already?" Reno quietly asked Marlene as he leaned against the door frame to their daughter's room.

"She wore herself out thanks to you, Crusty." Marlene teased her husband. "She'll have a good long sleep."

"Then we can have bedtime now too." A wicked grin appeared on Reno's face. "You did promise to let me decorate _you_ , remember?"

"What did you have in mind?" Marlene asked as she let Reno lead her back to their bedroom.

"You'll find out." Reno reached into his pocket and pulled out a blindfold.

Marlene raised an eyebrow. "And why do you just happen to have that in your pocket?"

"Uh-uh. That's classified…but I'll show you some new uses for it." Reno closed the door to the bedroom, and Marlene noticed a small box on their bed. "I'm giving you your present early."

On Christmas morning, Reno tried to hurry through breakfast that Marlene insisted they eat before opening presents as their family tradition, so they could spend some peaceful time together before the chaos of Reno's eagerness for tearing gifts open ensued.

"If you choke because you eat too fast, I'm taking your presents back." Marlene tried to say it sternly, but her body wouldn't let her, not when she was sure it was still humming from his present to her. His behavior when he woke up from his nap relieved her in more ways than one. Since the failed abduction attempt on her while she was pregnant with Addy, Reno seemed to be trying to be the perfect husband and father, and it might have just been hormones, but it frequently just terribly annoyed her. She didn't want perfection, she loved Reno as he was. Thankfully Christmas made the man she married reappear with all the presents that they got from all their friends and family.

"Omwphanry!" Reno tried to talk with his mouth full of syrupy pancake and failed miserably. He swallowed before trying again. "Over my dead body!"

Sitting in front of the tree with their daughter, Reno and Marlene let her pick out which one she wanted to open first. Reno was happy when Addy went for his present. He had chosen wrapping paper he thought would catch her eye, but he had Rude wrap it for him, Marlene forbid him from wrapping presents after his attempts on their first Christmas together.

"That's from me to you, Addy." Reno told his daughter as she ran her hand over the side as they had taught her, pulling when she caught hold of the taped folds. Rude had thoughtfully not taped it too tight, so she easily tore the paper off the big box.

"What is that?!" Marlene demanded to know, though the writing on the box made it clear.

"lt's like a building toy set, but she can make 3D models of lots of weapons." Reno explained to his wife, then opened the box for their daughter. "See Addy, this is an AK-47, that's a sword, this is a rocket launcher, that's a flamethrower, this is a grenade, and that is a crossbow." Reno pointed each one out to her on the box cover as he said the names.

"What kind of present is that for a toddler?" Marlene was trying not to glare at him.

"It's for ages three and up, but she's smart enough to figure it out now. We don't want to stifle her creativity after all." Reno smirked.


End file.
